Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
zippers are such a cool invention
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
