Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
