I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
