I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
