Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
