Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
