i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
