My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
