but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
