Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
