Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
