people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
