Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
