I want to have your abortion
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
