should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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