last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
