Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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