I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
how drunk are you?
Several
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
