we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
