i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
