Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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