Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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