Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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