Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
