I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
