Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
