I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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