eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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