And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
