hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
