Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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