The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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