Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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