Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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