In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
