I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
