god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
