come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize