i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
