is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
