return my video game
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
