ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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