I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
