I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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