Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
