I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
