I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
