oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
