guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
