it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
