don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
