I'm eating all of the evidence.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
