Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
