Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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