My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
