So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
