I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize