Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
