so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
