So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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